It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
