i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
