it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize