spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
