Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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