I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
do nipples grow back?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
