LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
