um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
