last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
A bitchslap is in order.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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