My nipple is on Facebook.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
