I like to think it a success when the cops are called
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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