Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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