Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
