you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
