just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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