im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
