just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i think my mom watched the whole time
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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