Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
