i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
