I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Randomize
