I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Randomize
