he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
