It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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