I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
