chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
