im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
