Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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