Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
