I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
