R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
