i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
