Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
