Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
