so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
