haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
