So drunk its hurt
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
