well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
