ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
