it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Randomize
