5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
