No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
