Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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