The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
