Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
