I just made out with a guy for $7.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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