what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
