She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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