The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
