fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I currently don't understand fingers.
So apparently I’m into choking now
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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