CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
high people should be assigned attendants
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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