Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
